Help Me I'm a Victim of Life! Oh Never Mind I'd Like to Cry Some More.
(Not a Jedi.)
Have you ever met a person that just seems to beg for a box of tissues with every conversation they hold? They prose on about all of the things that are wrong in their life--past, present, and through some psychic ability they picked up, the future. To play the victim is seemingly the only thing that gives these people satisfaction in life. They want sympathy, they seek advice, they want to be nurtured and coddled. They seemingly feel better and eager to make the changes to improve their situation based on the eloquent time-consuming philosophy you fed them. The end result? NOTHING, ZILCH, NADA, FARTS. They will continue to be victims of their own wonderland drama through some sick satisfaction of making others feel bad for them. Great Thor's hammer of gay porn where do all of these issues come from?!
I understand all people have hardships, some worse than others, but to sit on them and present them to everyone around you on a daily basis? It's unproductive, and quite frankly it's annoying. As some pot head enthusiast friends of mine would say, "You need to get rid of that negative energy, man" (Not implying that all people who are recreational tokers talk like The Dude from The Big Lebowsky). There are no excuses for focusing on the awfulness of ones' own life to the point of NOT LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. I don't care how troubling the experience is, was, or will be. Is the glass half empty or half full? Maybe there doesn't appear to be a glass at all--well, if of course the focus is a recording inside your head on repeat entitled: My Shitty Awful Terrible No Good Life, Fuck Your Problems: Vol 1.
(And heeeeerre we go again.)
Well let's nip this in the bud. If someone enjoys frequently placing you in the position of psychiatrist for their own amusement, but takes NONE of the advice and comes back with the SAME issues...here's what you can do:
Option A
Tell them they need to take responsibility for their own life and stop crying about everything. If they want to cry about nonexistent issues, they can talk to someone else because you don't want to listen to it anymore. It's like constantly being Rick Rolled, but in this instance you're gonna have to give them up and let them down...hard.
Option A
Tell them they need to take responsibility for their own life and stop crying about everything. If they want to cry about nonexistent issues, they can talk to someone else because you don't want to listen to it anymore. It's like constantly being Rick Rolled, but in this instance you're gonna have to give them up and let them down...hard.
Option /b/
If their problems are minimal, pull a life-changing prank such as all of their stuff getting "repossessed" then watch them actually freak out for your own amusement.
Option Doja
Give them the biggest zip-lock bag of weed they've ever seen and rejoice! The crying has switched to "What problems?" Exactly. What problems?
Personally, I'd choose Option /b/ for lolz, but in the interest of the most beneficial option, let's talk Option A! Option A is fine and dandy, except for one thing--you cannot expect someone who loves playing the victim to listen, but the effort is what counts. They are addicts, it's going to take some time for them to work on it. Not only does it take time, but it takes a certain level of maturity on their part. Many of these people never grow up from childhood. They want to be treated like a child when life gives them a "boo-boo"; it feels nice in a creepy adult baby kind of way.
People have an innate desire to feel special in some way or another. Recognition is important, that's why it's so important to spend time with children as opposed to just buying them distractions. Getting attention is a fundamental need in our early development for societies sake, as well as our evolution as human beings. Whether it's for good or bad, we need to get recognition for both to know the difference. Hookers are bad they give you STDs, being with one person that makes you a better person, loves you, and respects you is GOOD (it's even better if it's reciprocated)
. Tricking other people into showing affection for false misery, either to get an ego stroked or for some other perverse reason isn't considered good recognition--it's actually bad, very bad. It's a strange disorder and it becomes tiresome for those of us who have to deal with it. Want recognition? Go achieve something, post a funny video, make beer bottles bottles explode with your mind.
People have an innate desire to feel special in some way or another. Recognition is important, that's why it's so important to spend time with children as opposed to just buying them distractions. Getting attention is a fundamental need in our early development for societies sake, as well as our evolution as human beings. Whether it's for good or bad, we need to get recognition for both to know the difference. Hookers are bad they give you STDs, being with one person that makes you a better person, loves you, and respects you is GOOD (it's even better if it's reciprocated)
. Tricking other people into showing affection for false misery, either to get an ego stroked or for some other perverse reason isn't considered good recognition--it's actually bad, very bad. It's a strange disorder and it becomes tiresome for those of us who have to deal with it. Want recognition? Go achieve something, post a funny video, make beer bottles bottles explode with your mind.
Motives of a Psychopath
(Seems legit.)
Self-victimizing people seem to have other motives that...well...go a bit further than needing some attention. Some of them may only pull out the "my life is shit" card at the most opportune moments to fulfill a certain agenda. Onward to the fiesta of deceit!
The puppeteer with a sad violin
Manipulation through acting like a victim tends to happen a lot. Whether it's a power struggle, trying to win a case in court, or just trying to get your way. It's used as a way to justify a person's point, when in fact, their point is total bullshit. For instance, a relationship that ends on a sour note--the guy can break up with a girl, say she smothered him and wasted his time. He'll also tell stories of how she wasn't there for him when he needed her to be, but the reality was that she was always there and he just never said anything. This is just a false justification to leave her because he's bored or interested in someone else. It's manipulation through playing the victim, it's instant control. The girl will question how valuable she really is, while the guy revels in their sinister victory.
Another example, a kid bakes a bad batch of cookies--you don't want to say it tastes awful, but it does. If they're the self-victimizing type they'll come back with "I won't make anything again if it's so awful!" They want control of those diabetes causing cookies, and will play the victim to ensure you don't get any UNTIL you make them feel better. They must be recognized for baking infallible cookies that should never be critiqued or improved. Manipulative people can NEVER, under any circumstance be wrong about ANYTHING. So uh...yeah, beware of self-victimizing manipulators. They're dick heads.
License to Abuse
If someone is a verbally or non-verbally abusive shit head then they will go to great lengths to justify their actions. They play the victim, and will do so for reasons pulled from the mouth of a land fish with Pegasus wings.
"You made me angry when you liked that post on Facebook. You deserved every word."
WHOA WHOA hostile are we? When the post happened to be completely harmless of another male member of her family--unless of course there's some Game of Thrones incest fun going on. Nasty.
Or what about this: "You have a lot of guy followers you slut! How could you do this to me!?"
Yup...playing the victim to get their way. If you happen to fuck up in their eyes, they will hold onto that negative moment for a later date as an excuse to cause verbal or nonverbal abuse. Sound completely bat shit crazy when it's written out? "You said I think too much last month so I ate all your Cheetos, bitch." The more negative things you do in their eyes, the more the abuse builds up because they horde that shit like a lonely old woman hordes cats.
This may sound like a common dysfunctional marriage, and yeah, sadly it is. It's all a power play, people tend to fear things they cannot control. Trying to control another person in any relationship isn't the way to go. It just displays a lack of trust and respect. Coming to understandings with one another is the way to go, forcing someone else to do things by guilt tripping them is not.
Some people are exceptionally good at this, do not be fooled.
If it happens a few times, it's OK. If it happens often, it'll likely end with knives stuck in the couch and the homeless stoking a fire with your belongings in some dark alley Downtown.
"You made me angry when you liked that post on Facebook. You deserved every word."
WHOA WHOA hostile are we? When the post happened to be completely harmless of another male member of her family--unless of course there's some Game of Thrones incest fun going on. Nasty.
Or what about this: "You have a lot of guy followers you slut! How could you do this to me!?"
Yup...playing the victim to get their way. If you happen to fuck up in their eyes, they will hold onto that negative moment for a later date as an excuse to cause verbal or nonverbal abuse. Sound completely bat shit crazy when it's written out? "You said I think too much last month so I ate all your Cheetos, bitch." The more negative things you do in their eyes, the more the abuse builds up because they horde that shit like a lonely old woman hordes cats.
This may sound like a common dysfunctional marriage, and yeah, sadly it is. It's all a power play, people tend to fear things they cannot control. Trying to control another person in any relationship isn't the way to go. It just displays a lack of trust and respect. Coming to understandings with one another is the way to go, forcing someone else to do things by guilt tripping them is not.
Some people are exceptionally good at this, do not be fooled.
If it happens a few times, it's OK. If it happens often, it'll likely end with knives stuck in the couch and the homeless stoking a fire with your belongings in some dark alley Downtown.
Illuminati
(Get outta my head Charles!)
The main motive behind playing beaten red headed step child is this: control. People who cannot take charge of their lives cater to these destructive behaviors. Whether they are truly sad people, assholes, or attention seekers--they all want control. Fake victims seek control of an audience to either be comforted, to justify their negative actions, to always be correct, or to be noticed. If you happen to notice any of these behaviors happening often in someone you know, they should probably be smacked with a newspaper--don't let yourself be manipulated.
It seems to be okay self-victimizing within a few choice professions (lawyer, lobbyist, politician, etc.), but doing it to everyone outside of work--for lack of a better term, it'd just make you look like a giant douche bag. If someone's interpersonal relationship repertoire is made up of controlling communication like self-victimization then there's a serious issue.
In other words...
It seems to be okay self-victimizing within a few choice professions (lawyer, lobbyist, politician, etc.), but doing it to everyone outside of work--for lack of a better term, it'd just make you look like a giant douche bag. If someone's interpersonal relationship repertoire is made up of controlling communication like self-victimization then there's a serious issue.
In other words...
^^Don't be this guy^^
They May Have a Case of the "D word"
(Diarrhea? Dementia?...Dick?)
DEPRESSION. Acting like a victim could just be an outcry for help. When a depressed person's thoughts are out in the open, typically nothing positive can be said--everything in the mind is just toxic. Depressed people may act like a victim as their coping mechanism, which in turn leads to more misery. It's something that absolutely needs to be professionally diagnosed and worked with. So call some numbers, talk to some people, see if the friend is willing to help themselves. Everyone should have a chance to be happy; as much as we mentally and physically abuse our bodies it's the only one we have. We rent this vessel, we don't own it--let's all enjoy this party together while it lasts.
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