Methamphetamine; Take Me For A Ride

This Love is a Drug

(Doctor, I might need another prescription)

When the unattainable becomes available for only a moment, and the sighs, screams, and whispers become ever prevalent would you know what to do? When to stop? Where to hide? Like a meth addiction, you cannot always support the habit, but when it comes to fruition it is pure ecstasy. Bliss. What happens when the person you're giddy about cannot even look at you the same way anymore? The dealer is out of product, you won't get it again for a while--when or if it ever returns how will you buy it? With caution? Or lay all your chips on the table like a gambler without a care in the world?

In the Immortal Words of the Virgin Mary: Come Again?

(I'm on top of this mountain, and you are waaaaay down there, see? Oh wait, no I can't see you I'm too busy devaluing who you are)

What are you even talking about Brian? It's simple my friends, that arduous period of time where you cannot let go of your feelings for another person. You need your fix, you have that itch, you've had a taste and want more. How can you get it again? If they are set in their decision to let you go--a diatribe against this person does not help,  nuclear missles won't help, shaking salt over your shoulder and carving pentagrams into your earlobes in the name of satan won't help either. This is a withdrawal, and just like a withdrawal it's a helpless situation that only time may remedy. Time is an asshole.

Time to Heal and Feel Every Shitty Emotion Ever Devised

(Go fuck yourself father time)

Time...oh time. Life is very short, almost too short. So why in two fucks are we going to waste it? Can we just shut our feelings off and say "fuck it" like sociopaths? Oh wouldn't that be pleasant though? To live the life of a sociopath? To just let go like nothing ever happened? I'm not talking about "rebound syndrome" because I personally don't believe in that crap, but  if you do then more power to ya. 

This is probably the most reluctant I have been to give this kind of advice, but it almost seems necessary in this situation. Become a sociopath. It'll save your ass from all these horrible emotions. Don't let this mentality stick with you, but just do it temporarily to save yourself. 

"Sociopath: a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience."

A bit extreme I know, but this mentality is something one must replicate towards the person they cannot quit. Again, just like a meth addiction--don't socialize with anything to do with it and be as indifferent about it as much as you can. As great as it may feel when you're with this person, it's going to kill you in the end. However, there is also a chance of confusion and other factors taking place which COULD POSSIBLY end up working out in your favor, but try not to hold your breath for too long because guess what? That shit will kill you too! 

And If You Absolutely Cannot Be That Person

(You captivating wonderous old man you)

Do a few Hail Marys because this is going to be nightmare inducing. It's you vs. time, and don't think you're going to be primed Iron Mike Tyson in this ring--you are definitely the underdog in this match up. It's going to take many rounds of getting bitch slapped before you might finally get up again and lay a haymaker on that old bastard. The key here is to actually get up. Time itself won't do it for you. The initiative to change needs to take place--rehab , group therapy, Mr. Rogers, just something! 

I Hurt Myself Today To See If I Still Feel, and I Sound Like Such a Pussy, Because The One I Want Isn't Real

(OH IT HURTS SO GOOD!)

People may tell you a million different pieces of advice, but with something like this the first steps are entirely up to you. Is it worth any pain and conflict? Is this going to bring you any sort of fulfillment if it ever gets resolved? What are your options? 

There isn't a single thing you do can change another person's mind if they are absolutely set on what they truly desire. If there's a sense of conflict there might be a chance for you, but do you really want that shit? Do you? Do you like pain? "My name is Brian and I punch myself in the dick every day." Fucking masochist. Or perhaps I'm a sadist for putting this out there to all you romantic types? The point is as the great Frank Sinatra once said: "That's Life." Sometime's you're up, other times you're down, and if you can't make the change by a set period of time you might as well "roll yourself up in a big ball and die" since you've basically given up on yourself anyway. But before that point comes, you have to try, try, and try again. Seriously though, never ever give up on yourself because I guarantee you this--if you actually try, you will get through it.

I Asked Myself Some Questions, I Think Some Light Bulbs Lit Up

(I once was lost, but now I'm found--in another toybox with more toys)

This whole blog was very "question oriented," because in this situation you must ask yourself all of these questions in order to ever be certain. Sounds a bit maddening, but it's okay because we're all mad here. In life the madness will continue, and trust me it will. One thing I have said repeatedly is to remain positive, but first and foremost you need to be certain you're making the correct decisions for yourself. Serious decisions in the matter of love and other drugs takes time, so a little patience might be necessary. You can be the master of positivity about a decision you've made, but if it doesn't feel right it's going to come full circle and slowly consume you.