Short Story Bakery: The Exchange

Give me your tired, give me your sick

7:35PM on a warm partly cloudy Southern California Evening.

     The man pulled up to the curb of her house silently--headlights dimmed by dying sunlight, yet still blinding the rear of a red 2001 Chevrolet Silverado. Immediately after placing the car in park, and pulling the emergency brake he hesitantly picked up his iPhone and began to text. 

     "I'm here"  

     This text lit up her phone with an eerieness--her eyes gazing upon the blue screen with full knowledge of what would soon pass. 

     "k" 

     The only text response she could give, and the most indifferent one she could give. She wouldn't mislead, she would stand her ground as a statue carved upon a foundation of granite.

     He opened his car door, then took a box filled with precious memories in the form of belongings from the back seat. Some gifts from her that he couldn't bear to look at, everything else hers. As he approached the driveway towards the front door, a glass fell out of the box and shattered. The driveway now covered in broken glass, so unwelcoming, so fragile to the touch--much like this moment in time. He had replayed this moment in his head over and over again, but he never imagined it would be quite like this. Stressed, he tried gathering the pieces of glass into the box as fast as possible. Part of him was happy that this happened, a subconscious rage of breaking something in front of this person who had done so much damage already. However, the box of precious memories became tainted by the hidden assortment of sharp glass shards provided by the panicked urgency of the man. Irony. 

     She finally revealed herself by peeking her head out the door to investigate the shatter

     "What broke?"

     "Just this glass..."

     These were not the first words he had in mind. He envisioned this differently. He wanted to tell her how much he couldn't stand the sight of her. He wanted to tell her how the bitch inside of her could never compare to the devil in him, and that she had better stay out of his life for good. This did not happen.

     He left the box on the doorstep. She left his belongings at his feet. Standing tall, he took them and walked away without looking back once. However, something occurred to him the moment he placed his belongings in his car. 

     "This is the last time we'll ever see each other," he thought. 

     At that moment he sent one more text message.

     "Wait a second."

     He walked back to her doorstep. The two locked eyes. Her eyes filled with confusion, sadness, and slight indifference. His eyes read "go fuck yourself." The sun was on its' way out, a neutral dim light pervaded the atmosphere.

     "Why are we here? Why did this have to happen?"

     "I told you why..."

     "Because you became bored? Because of your depression? Because you felt I couldn't take care of you?"

     "I felt like I always did everything for you."

     "You volunteered out of what I believed to be the kindness of your heart. If it bothered you, you should have spoke up. If you communicated anything to me we could have resolved things easily."

     "Well it's too late now. I've never resolved anything with anybody."

     "Maybe it's a good time to start. I can't believe you'd just give up like that. It's not like I wasn't willing to do anything, I did my fair share and more as well."

     "None of this matters anymore. People break up all the time."

     "I know it doesn't I'm just trying to understand. Seriously who breaks up two days after telling their partner they love them and want to stay with them? I feel like there's either another interest, or it's just some kind of mental illness. It makes absolutely no sense at all."

     He spoke with conviction and complete confidence. Her eyes faintly glossy and upset, she was having a difficult time finding words.

     "There is nobody else and I don't know what I want anymore, and I'm not looking. And I AM mentally ill." 

     At this point the glossiness in her eyes became obvious, and the confusion in her expression was in abundance. The man felt unsettled by hearing those words form from her mouth.

     "I would have helped you take care of this in any way I possibly could. I loved you."

     "I don't want it."

     "Well you're admitting that there's a problem so you need it, and you're the only one who can help yourself in this and I fully understand that. Was any of this real? Any of your feelings?"

     "They were."

     "So you just snapped?"

     "Yes."

     "Then how do you know you're not going to miss me?"

     "I don't know."

     Her confusion was clearly visible for all to see, while she put up a front of carelessness. Arms at her sides, hands moving nervously. This confusion made him slightly nervous to the point where his mouth became dry. 

     "Do you have anything to say at all? Do you feel anything right now?"

     "I don't know I feel bad."

     "I feel bad too, I feel regret. This was two years of my life."

     "It was two years of my life too. Shit happens."

     "I envisioned this differently. I thought I'd be angry with you, but it's difficult."

     "Feel what you feel, don't hide it."

     "Somehow in the back of my mind I know that this is all bullshit, and that it happened from just not paying attention. Are you happy now?"

     "No, nothing has changed. I am still unhappy."

     Glimpses of sadness invaded her indifferently posed expression frequently at this point. The man kept his resolve and didn't beg or become upset. He understood this was it, this was the end. He had been using hand gestures throughout the entire conversation to fully illustrate his points, he wanted to get through to her. He wanted to make things clear. He is done, but a part of him wished it didn't end this way.

     "You don't understand. I am a once in a lifetime opportunity. Go out into the world and you'll find out that people can be worse than you ever imagined. I never wanted to see you go through that, but it seems to me like you have to go through that in order to fully appreciate what you had with me. When you're left alone, or when someone treats you like total shit, I will be the person in the forefront of your mind. I'm sorry I couldn't read your mind to accomodate all of your needs, but I tried my best."

     "How are you so sure you're once in a lifetime?"

     "Because I'm a guy, and I've seen first hand what is out there. Girl friends have told me the most horrible stories and it makes me sick to my stomach what people in this town are capable of."

     She paused for a minute, and the fear that he may actually have been correct settled in. However, she remained stubborn in her decision, because it was in fact "too late" to fix anything at this point.

     "..."

     "I want you to get better okay?"

     He approached her and hugged her, and she held onto him for seemingly the longest period of time they have ever held onto one another. Soft whimpers could be felt, but not seen or heard. They both knew this was the last time they'd ever see each other again.

     The man turned away from her and looked back directly into her eyes.

     "You take care of yourself okay?"

     "You too."

     With his head held high, he walked away never to return again.